Do You Shoot The Messenger?

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Do You Shoot The Messenger?

Have you ever been in a public retail establishment and a customer gets into an argument with a clerk because his credit card has been denied, and the customer verbally assaults the clerk, claiming there must be a mistake. Or the clerk can’t find the right size or color? Or perhaps you have been at the ticket counter of an airline after a flight has been cancelled, and agents are busily searching for alternatives for the passengers on the cancelled flight. There is always the disgruntled passenger who verbally assaults the ticket agent for the cancellation, expecting preferential treatment.

Weakness of attitude
becomes weakness of character.
- Albert Einstein

Have you heard the term ‘don’t shoot the messenger’? That’s exactly what is happening in the scenarios described above. We often get frustrated when our plans are disturbed by outside forces. This frustration is then vented on the person nearest to the problem. For example the airline cancellation. No matter what the reason for the cancellation, the ticket agent most certainly did not make that decision, so why do we vent our frustration on someone who had nothing to do with the decision? Yes, the agent is a representative of the airline, but that still does not grant us the freedom to verbally abuse anyone.

In words
are seen the state of mind
and character and disposition
of the speaker.
- Plutarch

Lets look at it from another point of view. Next week you are back at the airline and need some help to get on flight and you don’t have a reservation. Guess which ticket agent serves you! Now let’s suppose that this agent has a good memory and keeps score of the people who cause him pain. What are your chances of making that flight?

Also, you must consider the other people in your life that are witnessing this display of frustration. Family, peers, or maybe even your boss! What must they be thinking when you conduct yourself in this manner?

By constant self-discipline
and self-control
you can
develop greatness of character.
- Grenville Kleiser

If you recognize yourself in this behavior, maybe you have some growing to do, some maturing, an ability to accept responsibility for your actions. Stop shooting the messenger and start rewarding the people who try to assist you. A simple ‘thank you’ is all it takes.

- Joe Freeman

You can construct the character of a man
and his age not only from what he does and says,
but from what he fails to say and do.
- Norman Douglas

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