Is The Honeymoon Over?

How do you know when the honeymoon is over?  You may have heard the joke that if you are in the bathroom brushing your teeth and your spouse comes in and uses the bathroom - the honeymoon is over.  But does it have to be over?  A lot of experts have written on the subject and seem to be saying that we go through a 'settling in' phase, where we get used to living with another person.

A lot of us may be taking that settling in phase as a signal that the honeymoon is 'over'.  During the courtship stage, you spent a lot of time thinking of this person every day, just waiting to see them that night.  Now you get involved in your daily work activity and just go home to your spouse, expecting dinner (the husband) or dreading having to fix dinner (the wife).  You have 'settled in'!  The euphoria you experienced in courtship has been replaced with your daily routine.  But does that mean the honeymoon is over?  No - the honeymoon  doesn't have to be over just because you have established a routine with another person.

What qualities attracted you to this person?  Do they still have those qualities?  They probably do, and more importantly, they have some you didn't know about.  Have you let these new qualities (sometimes called quirks) override the reason you feel in love with your spouse?  Unless you married this person for the wrong reasons (which there are thousands), there is no reason why the honeymoon cannot continue for many years.  It is simply a matter of how you view your mate and your marriage.  

I believe it can be summed up in one word - 'R-E-S-P-E-C-T'.  Yes, Aretha it had right all along, when she sang 'all I'm askin in return, honey, is to give me my proper respect when you get home'.  If you respect yourself and your spouse, the honeymoon will continue.  Check out Is Marriage Hard Work? and What Would You Miss? for some more information on continuing the honeymoon.

- Joe Freeman