Whose Fault Is It?

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Whose Fault Is It?

A neighbor buys a new car and you point out a defect in the paint. Your child brings home a report card with four 'A's and one 'B' and you immediately focus on the 'B'. A co-worker introduces a new way to do a task, and you immediately tear it apart, saying something like 'we tried that before it didn't work then and it won't work now'. When someone doesn't agree with you, are they automatically wrong? If something goes wrong in your life, no matter if it is work related or relationship related, are you always looking for someone to blame? If this describes your behavior, you may be what Zig Ziglar calls a 'fault finder'. What is a 'faultfinder'? That's a person who must find fault with almost everyone or everything they encounter.

The only people who find
what they are looking for
in life are the fault finders.
- Foster's Law

What could be causing you to be faultfinder? There are probably many reasons, ranging from low self-esteem, denial of our own failures, to some type of personality disorder. In some cases it may be necessary to seek professional counseling to resolve the issues.

What I am talking about are the every day things that build up, causing stress and anxiety. Sometimes we compare ourselves to others, and when we see them as being successful, it may cause us to feel resentful because of our own circumstances. We see others being seemingly successful, yet we are struggling, feeling out of control and maybe even overwhelmed with job and relationship problems.

Criticism is the disapproval of people,
not for having faults,
but having faults different from your own.
- Author Unknown

What we don't see is that everyone has problems with their job, families, friends, etc. We only see the exterior of these successful people and feel threatened by their ability to succeed. That's when we begin to think that if we point out what is wrong with their opinions, attitudes or accomplishments, that we will relieve our own insecurity and we will no longer feel threatened by their success.

If you are feeling this way, you may need to do some character building, working on your inner self, improving your self-esteem. Brian Tracy said 'It is impossible to like or love anyone else more than you like yourself. It is impossible for others to like or love you any more than you like yourself'.

- Joe Freeman

Endeavor to be always patient of the faults
and imperfections of others
for thou has many faults and imperfections
of thine own that require forbearance.
If thou are not able to make thyself
that which thou wishest,
how canst thou expect to mold another in conformity to thy will?
- Thomas A. Kempis (1380-1471)

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